The day started off normally for me, waiting for the bus at 6:00 am, getting to school, and eating their nasty breakfast food. Then heading off to my locker to get my Chemistry and Advanced Algebra books, then I headed for class. In Algebra, I sat next to my friend Jona, but today she wasn’t there. She is never missing in action from Algebra; come to think of it she didn’t show at breakfast either. That is weird for her—for some odd reason she enjoys the school’s food. Plus she is an Algebra nerd, and is always sitting in the front row. I was taking notes on how the square root of pi can be used in the middle of an equation, when…





“Miss Bergus?” said my teacher; I hadn’t realized that he was taking a moment to answer the phone. I looked up at him and he said that I had to go to the office immediately. I hadn’t been in the office for so long, I was sitting there for a while until my mother came in. My little sister Kayla right next to her, along with Kyle my step brother. I was confused why was my family here? What did I do? I don’t remember being caught smoking yet. But maybe it was something else; mom looked at me with sad eyes, walked up to the desk and signed my release paper. When we got in the car I looked at her with longing eyes, she just put Kayla in her car seat and Kyle in his booster. She drove us home in silence, I didn’t know what was going on until we got home, once mom had put Kayla down for her nap, and Kyle was watching TV.


“Danyealla,” She sighed I was scared then was it dad? Did they find him? Or his body? Or is there something wrong with Kyle’s asthma again? She walked over to me and hugged me.

“George, he…he…is in the Hospital.” My step dad?! That was why she pulled me out of school? The man who had molested me as a child, and threatened my mother’s life right in front of me AND Kyle? She took me aside and tolled me that he was probably going to stay in the hospital for a while, then serve the rest of his time on house arrest.


“He won’t stay here, will he?” I asked. She looked at me and shook her head…

“No. He is going to stay with his mom.” I was finally relieved from hearing that. So the rest of the day I did my home work, until 2:30 pm. Then I waited for my phone call from my boyfriend, Darien—he always called me after school. The phone rang, and I answered.

“Hello?”

“Hey,” he said.

“How are you?” I asked he said he was fine but that we needed to talk. Those dreaded words escaped his mouth, "We need to talk."I asked him what we needed to talk about, he explained that he was turning eighteen in about a month, and that he couldn't be with a sixteen year old girl because of the law. I didn't know what to do or say, I mean I new it was wrong for me to stay with him, but I figured we would find a way around it. I had nothing else to lose, I agreed with him. We said good bye on the phone and I headed up to my room and had myself a good cry. When dinner came around, I ate in my room—Darien and I had been going out for months, so I was pretty shocked that he was breaking up with me for such a stupid reason. I stayed in my room for quite some time, until I couldn’t take it any more. I ran down the stairs and headed out side to my bike. I hopped on it, and headed for the park—the only place close to me that I knew would be deserted. It was raining that day, so I decided to make my bike ride not as fast as usual—I always did like the rain when I was sad. But it wouldn’t be that simple; on my way to the Gazebo my bike got a flat tire. I walked it the rest of the way, then sat down on one of the benches in there. I again had a good cry, I was just about ready to give up and pull out my razor blades, when…


“I wouldn’t do that if I were you.” Said a boys voice, I turned around to see, an angel. I was always skeptical of angels being on earth, but not really when I looked at him.

“Why is that?” I asked him, a hint of laughter to my voice, he shrugged. I looked at him as he walked over to me and sat down next to me.

“Because if you do slit your wrists, I’ll have to call the paramedics,” he said with such confidence, I looked at him pleadingly. “It won’t work on me,” he said; as I turned to get my razor blades out, he grabbed my shoulder. I felt a shutter run down my spine, and I could’ve sworn that I wasn’t able to move or speak. He looked at me and I at him, he wasn’t going to let me go—only because he didn’t want to be caught with the giant gun hooked to his hip. He looked down at where I was looking—the gun—and he grabbed my hand. He whispered in my ear, “I wouldn’t tell any one about me if I were you,” I looked at him and took my hand out from under his. He was some sort of freak! He had to be, I mean no carries around that big of a weapon in the middle of a park. Yet something about him made me feel so calm, but instead of walking away I said…



“If you had the chance, would you kill me?” he looked at me questioningly, and shook his head. I started to get up, when he grabbed my hand, and pulled me closer to his chest, ‘what the fuck?’ I thought, I barely knew him and he was already getting close, but—for some odd reason—it felt good. Like I was safe and in my own haven; I was about ready to squirm, when he drew me away, grabbed my chin, and pulled it close. I didn’t even know him yet I kissed him back, and I liked it? This day was getting weirder and weirder by the minute; I had barely had a chance to breathe. When he had pulled away with a, hiss? Like a cat, he sounded like a cat; I was about ready to look at his face when he said…

“Don’t look at me!” I was confused, why couldn’t I look at his face? Why did he hiss like a cat? In mid kiss nonetheless, he was just weird. But when I got a glimpse of his face, his eyes they were blood shot—the color of blood—and his smile was gone, he was growling. But at what? Me? Or something else? What the hell was he? I never got my questions answered; he disappeared when I turned my head for a split second. I was amazed with how fast he moved, but upset that I didn’t get to know his name.






I still cut that night—only in the privacy of my own home. I was so depressed; I just didn’t know what to do with my self, that’s when, the flash backs started…




“Don’t worry honey, this won’t hurt.” He said as he would touch me in places I knew I shouldn’t be touched. He would kiss me there, too; then he would “ut me to bed” as he said, so many times. After words I would get sick, and cry, my mom knew but couldn’t stop it; I was only five. When I turned eleven I decided enough was enough! I went to the police, and filed a molestation and rape report. They arrested him that day, at work; the look on his face said he knew who had “ratted” him out. He. Knew. It. Was. ME! I was so scared that day, I never once came out of my room. I stayed there, and cried away. That was my first night, my first night I had cut; it hurt of course but I didn’t scream. I was a brave young soldier, just like my daddy, before he became a meth addict. I hadn’t even given it up after I had found Darien, he wanted me to, but I would never give up cutting; my wrists maybe. I started on my thighs, and hips, it was the same thing, pain. Pain from the blade I loved so much—I would cut with my father’s old army knife—and that I would continue to love.

My flash back was interrupted at the sound of my alarm clock, ‘had I really fallen asleep?’ I thought, as I got up to go get ready for my day. But then, I was tackled by…


“You?!” I screamed, he shushed me, but I didn’t shush that easily. He was going to turn on my light, and when he did, I saw him, the real him. He wasn’t wearing a shirt, and his muscles were exposed. I looked down the line of his six-pack, and wanted to trace it…


“You can if you want.” He said as if it was no big deal, but he knew what I was saying. How? But I didn’t ask him, instead, I did what I wanted to do, I traced his abs. He was so warm, I wasn’t thinking of sex—I hadn’t been able to even take my shirt off in the girls’ locker room in order to get ready for gym—but I was thinking about our kiss. How would that feel when he has no shirt on? What if he were to— ‘FUCK’ I thought as I looked into his eyes; my hand flew down to my side. “What is it?” He asked me with a look on his face that screamed passion; I looked away from him and squirmed.


“It’s just…well…” He looked at me and sighed…


“Your step dad.” He said with out hesitation. How could he have known about George? Who the hell was he? What the fuck was going on? “My name is Zander Omen.” He said as my heart began to race. I was about ready to ask him how he knew what I was thinking when he said… “Anya,” he said my nick name as if he knew it well. As if he’d used it a lot—years almost. As if he knew me from kindergarten. I looked at him…


“What?” I questioned, he took my hand and held it next to his cheek. It was so warm, he sighed and said…

“Do you trust me?” I looked at him and as my heart said ‘yes’ my mouth said…

“I hardly know you.” He looked at me and chuckled, he asked me if I got to know him if I would trust him then, I—instinctively—said yes.

So far during my time with Zander, I had been very, different. I had been more out going, I hadn’t cut, and I was wearing colors. My blonde hair was never my face, and my blue eyes were brighter than usual. Everyday I was with him he was very, comforting; he never once questioned about my past or my relationships before him. He was very much so an adult who couldn’t take his eyes off of me, a child. I was pleased with how he would say he loved me, it was never the usual, “I love you,” it was either in poem or skit. One time he reenacted Romeo and Juliet, just for me. My life had been given a second chance with Zander, and I never wanted this life to end.

It was the day Christmas break started, and I was itching for school to get out, the walls in my BioChem class were screaming for us teenagers to leave. When that bell rang I was out the door, in the hall way, running to my locker. Once I got there, though, I saw Jona, for the first time in five days. Jona was always in class, and had never missed a school day since kindergarten. Why was she out for so long? What was going on with her? And why was she talking to Felisha Jameston? We hate her, and she hates us, but they were laughing, and talking—of course this was beginning to get weird but I wasn’t willing to let Jona know that. I walked up to my friend, and she was just about to say something to Felisha when she looked around to see me. I thought I had been quiet and she was looking the opposite direction, guess not. When she started to say something Felisha opened her mouth…

“So, I hope you take my fashion advice and remember keep them a secret.” Then she giggled and went on her marry way. I looked at Jona questioningly; she looked at me with a shy smile. I was beginning to ask her what the hell was going on when Zander came up behind us—I knew because I could smell his cologne. I turned around on my heal and looked up at him—only because he was a foot taller than me—I smiled my biggest smile, and he bent down to kiss me. I had totally forgotten my manners, so, I turned around to introduce Zander to Jona, but Jona had disappeared. Strange things like that kept on happening between me and Jona ever since her trip to Salem, Michigan with her advanced U.S. History class, this last summer. Which had Felisha and her sister Carla—she was a chaperone—in it; okay, time out. Did Jona smell like smoke? She doesn’t even like being around me when I pull out my pack. Yet she smelled like smoke and, flowers? Yeah, like roses, strange. While Zander and I headed out to his car, he kept on looking at me, but never said a word.

“Anya?” he said questioningly to me, I spun my head around and saw that we were stopped and on the side of the road.

“Yeah?” I answered him, he looked at me, and then looked into my eyes, “what?” I said, he pulled his stare away, and looked ahead at the road.

“You seem as if you are pondering something in your beauteous head,” he said, I looked over at him, he just kept looking forward. “As if you are worried, the look of that feeling runs across your face and in your pulse.” He said, with such a manner I had never heard, it was almost as if he were from a different time zone. “Is your emotion you are feeling, about that girl you were talking to, when I came to pick you up?”

“Jona, yes.” I answered him, quietly.

“Do you know why?” he asked me, I looked at him strangely and then the car fell silent as I pondered what he was talking about. Then it hit me, he was reading my mind again, he knew that I had no clue why Jona would stop coming to school, then come back and talk to our worse enemy. I was about say no, when he leaned over and kissed my lips, it was passionate and almost poetic, this kiss, just as if he had known all along how I had been longing to be kissed by him. I had missed my friend Jona over the Winter Break, but hey it was worth it. I would go over to Zander’s apartment a lot, but he would come over to my house, too. That is until four days before Christmas when my mom gave me the biggest shock…
“Danyealla, could you come here please I have something to tell you,” said my mom, as I began to head out to see Zander again, I said that I was coming and then she tolled me that something important was happening. I didn’t what it was or even why she wanted to tell me, but my adrenaline was pumping and my heart racing, I was a bit scared and also, a little excited. That was she handed me a box, and said, “Start packing!” my eyes went huge, I could have sworn my mouth went to the floor, and then, I dropped the box.
“NO!” I screamed, she looked at me and then at the box then back at me, she was about ready to enforce her “arenting” on me, but I was already on my way out the door. I was running to my bike when I heard a giggle coming from behind me. I turned around, and saw a little girl in a white dress, with rosy cheeks, and blonde curly hair. She was cute, but creepy, “what are you doing here?” I said to the little girl, she just continued to giggle and began to walk over to me. She touched my hand and all of a sudden I started to get light headed. I was beginning to feel weird, too, almost as if I were about to fall asleep.


I woke up at the sound of a very familiar voice, it sounded so familiar that I bolted up and began to shake. ‘NO! This is not happening he is supposed to be in the hospital’, I thought to myself, as I heard foot steps coming towards me. I tried to get up, but I couldn’t even talk; he came in quietly and looked straight at me and smiled. ‘You bastard what the fuck did you do to me,’ I thought in my head.
“Now, now, Anya,”